After reading Amy Chua's iconic article, leave two comments - using at least one quote - on the article. Then leave two responses to the comments of your peers. I will leave two examples. Feel free to comment on mine if you wish.
I look forward to see what you think of the article.
"Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough."
ReplyDeleteThis is Carol Dweck's Growth Mindset in action. It's not about innate talent. It's not about natural ability. This is simply about one thing: how hard are you willing to work?
Though Chua comes across as harsh and had American parents freaking out when this article was published, I don't know many bosses, coaches, or professors who would really even debate her about the importance of sacrifice and working incredibly hard.
Thoughts? Reactions? I'd love to hear from you.
haylie
DeleteI agree with a little of both sides. Sometimes kids just can't do something no matter how hard they try, maybe their brain just isn't wired like that. But at the same to if you put in hard work and effort you can do a lot more things than you originally thought you could.
Abigail Molstad
DeleteWhen I first read this I will say I was a little shocked as to how limited their kids are. No sleepovers, no plays, no playdates, it's like let the children live a little bit. But at the same time their work ethics and morals are probably top notch. I will say that kids should get the opportunity to find what their interests are, whether it be sports, musicals, or school. They should get to determine those things on their own.
"Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences." This sounds harsh for parents today. But if you were to talk to your grandparents, I bet this was very common for them.
ReplyDeleteWe have lightened up our demands upon our children. Perhaps that is why the helicopter parents have yielded to the snow-plow parents who don't think twice about seeking to get a coach fired or even a teacher fired if they don't give their child the playing time or grade that the parent thinks the kids deserves (and not the playing time or the grade the child's talent or work ethic justifies).
I know this sounds harsh - having parents decide much of your life for you (and I'm not advocating this . . . totally). But they do have vast life experience that young people simply don't have. There is a great quote my father once told me: "At 18, your parents are the dumbest people on earth. Then at 28, they're the smartest people on earth.
He was NOT wrong. When I was 18, I spent every dollar I earned. I would spend an entire paycheck at The Buckle and not think twice. This set in some motion some very bad habits.
Then when I was seeking some debt (mainly credit card) counseling from him, it amazed me to see how much money Mom and Dad had in savings. They seemed to be geniuses with their money, but they had discipline in terms of saving that I never realized.
Thoughts? Reactions?
haylie
Deletesame thing with this one I can see both sides. A lot of the time your parent know best because they speak from experience but when they try to control every aspect of your life it get to be a bit much. Because you don't always know if they have a knack for something if you never let them try it and explore their passion
1. I find it kind of crazy how different two parenting tactics can be. When she said that "Chinese parents believe their kid owe them everything" and as for Westerners they believe it's the "parents responsibility to provide for them." I definitely agree that kids should be who they want and they don't owe their parents everything but is that only because I grew up in America and would I think differently is I grew up in China?
ReplyDelete2. Something else I found interesting is how great of lengths Chinese mom's will go to make sure that their kid doesn't give up. When Chua started talking about her kid Lulu who was seven at the time and wanted to give up on her piano piece. Instead of just agreeing with her and saying it was too hard she stuck with it and even tried to take her toys or take her food if she didn't get it down. This is kind of extreme in my view but it was effective and Lulu became very happy when she succeeded.
^^ haylie rogalla
DeleteAbigail Molstad
DeleteI agree with you when you stated how we should get to be who we want. We should be able to have the opportunity to play sports or audition for a play. This will shows us what we are good at other then restricting us to school and music. I also think its crazy how far the moms will go. But I truly think thats awesome that they want their kids to succeed so badly they will take all of their time to sit down and get it right so the kid can be successful.
Kaitlyn Hagevold
DeleteI thought it was crazy what Chinese mothers did to make sure there kids was the best and did not give up. The fact that she wouldn’t even let her child use the bathroom until she got it perfect. Once her daughter got it though she never wanted to stop playing. That is why she threatened her and did not let her give up.
Haley McDermott-
DeleteI like when you pointed out how far these mothers will go to make sure their kids don't give up. Chua would not let her kid give up on piano no matter how hard it was. I agree that taking away her food and bathroom privileges was a little extreme but it did eventually push her to be great. It also helped show her that even really hard things can be fun once you get the hang of it.
I like your comment about how far Chinese parents will go to make sure their children don't give up when things get hard. As the child it might seem unfair or mean for your parents to push you so much, but Lulus joy and excitement shows how much it pays off. It most likely set Lulu up for success, and taught her to not give up when things get hard.
DeleteKylie^^
DeleteAbigail Molstad
ReplyDelete1. It's interesting looking at how different our cultures are when it comes to raising kids. The way Chinese parents raise their kids can be very shocking to Westerners and how they find it best to raise their kids. In the article it states that "Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't." I totally believe this is true. If we were to watch a Western parent raise their kid the way Chinese people raise them, some would consider it child abuse. How they will call their kids names and punish them for not being the best they can be. Which to some extent I think it can be harsh but I truly believe it teaches them to have good work ethics and not quit when things become difficult.
2. Something else that I thought was interesting was the part when they stated "nothing is fun until you're good at it." Like that little girl and her mom trying so hard to have her daughter play the piano piece perfectly. Lulu was so frustrated and wanted to quit so badly but her mom wouldn't let her. They went over and over the piece until she finally got it, and when she did she couldn't have been happier. She played it over and over again and loved it. This shows us how that statement is correct. This also goes along with our culture if we can't make a basket or score a goal it sucks and you become frustrated. But when it actually happens you couldn't be more happy and want it to happen again
Kaitlyn Hagevold
DeleteI like how you mention that the way Chinese mothers raise there kids in our culture could be considered child abuse. Parents these days are so soft with there kids and do not discipline them which will effect them in the future. I love the quote “nothing is fun until you are good at it.” It is so true.
Kylie Alby.
DeleteI liked your comment about how most things aren't fun until you are good at them. I also like how you brought up the point showing how happy Lulu was once she finally mastered her piano piece. It is proof that once you accomplish being good at something, you automatically enjoy it more.
Max Forst
DeleteI agree with your comment on how nothing is fun until you are good at it. I actually see this a lot, not only in others, but in myself too. For example, my cousin never liked playing beach volleyball with the rest of our family, but when we made her play to even out the teams, she got better and better, and now she likes to play it.
Jonah Kalsnes
DeleteI do agree with the idea that things do not become fun until a person begins excels with it. However, I do not think that the idea holds true all the time. Most people are able to enjoy activities even if they are not amazing at them.
Kaitlyn Hagevold
ReplyDelete1) I really enjoyed this article. It is hard for people to not judge things that they do not agree with. I think that Chua was just looking out for her kids. She was making them stronger and setting them up for success in the future. She mentions when she was a child “I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, and my father angrily called me garbage.” She explains that she felt ashamed of herself. It didn’t ruin her self esteem she knew her parents loved her but it made her feel awful. I think disciplining your child is okay there is nothing wrong with that.
2) Another thing that caught my eye was that she expects her daughters to get nothing less than an A. In our culture most parents are happy if there child gets a C. Most kids in our culture don’t even put an effort into school because they have other important things. There parents don’t stop them either and that is what is so different. Chua says that “if a Chinese child got a B the devastated mother would buy hundreds of practice tests” until their child was the best in that subject. This surprised me because the mother is so involved in our culture the parent would blame it on the school system or demand the teacher to work harder. The parent would not make time to help there child in school because that’s what the teachers are for.
Haley McDermott-
DeleteWhen they talk about calling their children names such as garbage or fat that really caught my attention too. I thought the way they discipline their children is interesting but not wrong. It makes me wonder how different out lives and country would be if we were all raised like this. The part about testing, I thought, showed how much the mother loves her child and wants them to succeed. She is so willing to put in all that time, money, and effort to improve her child and their future and I think that shows how much she cares about them.
Kenzie Sorter
DeleteI agree with your second comment. The part that really stuck out to me was the fact that parents today would blame a bad grade on the teacher and the way they decided to teach it and not on the kid who probably put little effort in to it.
Haley McDermott
ReplyDelete1) "Chinese parents believe their kid owe them everything" I think this is a very interesting thought as it is so different than the rest of us are raised. The western communities are just raised to do our best and try to make our parents proud and so on and so forth. These Chinese children are taught that they owe it to their parents to be perfect and do everything right. They are almost raised to be successful for their parents and not for themselves which is very interesting with our opposed thinking of "do what makes you happy"
2)Another thing that really caught my attention is how little they pay attention to their childrens self esteem. “I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, and my father angrily called me garbage.” If this incident would've happened in our culture the parents would be immediately apologizing while their child cried and then resented them for it. There is another example where mothers call their children fat and this just simply would not happen in our culture as it is deemed 'damaging' to a young person. This seems almost traumatic to us but I really don't think it is for them. I think this is such normal behavior that of course it hurts but it doesn't emotionally scar them because it's what they grew up with.
Alex Osowski
DeleteHaley, I am with you in your second point. As you and I mentioned in both our comments, in our culture it wouldn't fly as easily in their culture. I feel like a lot of people would consider parents degrading their children to be verbal abuse in our culture.
Dominica Bernstein
Delete'I agree with your first point, these children are not taught to live a life that they love, instead they are taught to follow in their parent footsteps and be successful. I don't think its right to suppress someones own personality for the good of yourself.
Dominica,
DeleteBut where do you draw the line? What do you mean by "suppress someone's own personality for the good of yourself."
I hate to say it, but that's parenting 101. No child (or very few) or no student (or very few) ever voluntarily act in their best interest. How many people (young or old)would really work to improve themselves (whether that's reading or working out or spending time with their family) if they weren't forced to or if they didn't learn those habits from a very early age. Hint - Zero or very, very few.
Every teenager that has ever lived in my house has always wanted to sleep until noon. They wanted to stay up until two on social media or talking to boys or watching Netflix.
But I know that's not in their best interest. But am I "suppressing their personality"? Yep. That's parenting.
Think of it this way, West Point produces some of the very best of the very best in terms of leadership in the entire world. Yet, their training and work is all about suppressing their own selfish personality traits to sacrifice for the good of the army and their fellow soldiers.
Furthermore, think about what our religion teaches us. The Ten Commandments don't exist to let us do our won thing. Right? They exist to suppress our own penchant for sin and wrong doing. It doesn't mean we can't be corrected or forgiven, but by our very nature, we are fallen beings who need discipline and correction. I would submit to you that is what Amy Chua is offering her children.
Jonah Kalsnes
ReplyDelete"To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences."
This is a very large generalization about not only Western parents, but also Western children. Chua makes the assumption that the will of a child is like that of a computer program, and that they will only respond if you "override" their basic function. While the idea of her article is about parenting, she never once considers a child's personal outlook and their willingness to work. However, that does not mean that a child's work ethic was not influenced by their mom and dad, but it just does not seem right for Chua to place all the responsibility on the parents.
I agree with this point Jonah, it is both the kids and the parents. Chua made many choices for her kids when it came to how hard they would work and what they would put their time into. Western kids have not grown up in that type of lifestyle and probably wouldn't adapt to it very easily.
DeleteKylie Alby
ReplyDelete1) This article was really interesting to me. It's cool to see how different cultures grow up, and how parenting techniques can have such a huge impact on a culture. For example Chinese parents raise their children to be the best at everything they do. The article states: "Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them." Chinese parents believe that their children can be excellent at everything, so they are constantly pushing them to perfection. It might be hard at times for the children, but the fact that this technique has lasted so long shows that once the children grow up, they use the same parenting style.
2) A second comment I have about this article comes from the quote "Chinese parents believe that their kids
owe them everything." Although some people may agree with this, I do not. Like the article said, children aren't choosing to be born. It's the parents who want to have a kid, so that child should be their responsibility. A child shouldn't be someone who just automatically owes you everything there is to give.
Alex Osowski
DeleteKylie, I really agree with your second point. Everyone has their own opinions, but I personally believe that children do not owe their parents everything. The parents should have been educated enough before they had a child, let alone should be aware that it was their choice to have a kid and not their children's fault.
I agree with what you said about the parents thinking their kids owe them, kids need to live their own live eventually and can't be just focusing on owing their parents back and doing everything for their parents.
DeleteElla ^
DeleteJennica
DeleteI get what you're saying in your first point, talking about how they carry those parenting skills with them when they have kids. I feel like we don't have a right to judge them because our parents do that too, and different cultures might not agree with the way we are raised either.
Alex Osowski
ReplyDelete1. '...when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage"...' is one line that really stood out to me. The first time I read it, I had to go back and read it again because after, she said 'It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done.' Personally, if I was ever called that by my own parents I think my self-esteem would drop. If a parent doesn't mean it and you know how they really feel, they shouldn't have said it. It almost seems a little manipulative to me. Everyone has different personalities and traits; I would consider myself more sensitive than some so I feel like I would really take it to heart if my parents talked to me that way. Although those kids are successful, are they healthy mentally? Aren't the isolation and insults mentally and emotionally draining?
2. Another line that caught me off guard was later on in the article on the sixth page. Amy Chua has described that her daughter, Lulu, practiced for several days for several hours on the piano for a recital but couldn't get the hand coordination correct and gave up the day before the recital. Amy Chua says she forced her daughter to sit at the piano not matter what, not even to eat or go to the bathroom. What she said to her daughter was that she was 'being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic'. Her husband pulled her aside and said he thought she should stop insulting Lulu and threatening her, and that she should consider that Lulu hadn't even learned the coordination. The line that really puzzled me was Chua's response to her husband: '"Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."' Amy Chua was not willing at all to let her husband have any inolvement on the situation, although he is as much as a parent as Amy is to their daughters. In my opinion, this isn't a healthy way of raising kids together and they should have consulted a plan that considered both of their ideals or at least a compromise.
Dominica Bernstein
DeleteI agree with your first point that calling her child "garbage" might have been a little manipulative, regardless of the culture or origin of the person, sometimes hurtful comments can really weigh on a person and I think hearing it from a parent especially hurts worse, simply. because they are who we look to for comfort.
Baylie Johnson
DeleteAlex, I agree with you when you describe the different parenting styles we see in Chua and her husband. I don't know how that would work well with the children like you mentioned above. They way she talks kind of sarcastic and even a little jealous that her husband is "the good parent" shows that she knows that she is causing some harm to her children's self-esteem. As you mentioned, they should come up with a plan together or compromise to help their children succeed. I will say though, that she is determined to work with her children until they get it right because she wants what is best for them just like all parents want. I think Chua just does it in her own way because she was raised the same way and believes it works.
Ella
ReplyDelete"If you're not good at something it's not fun."
Amy wanted her kids to be really good at certain things like math and the piano so they practiced all the time, but I don't agree with this. I think she should've let her kids explore activities and try new things, and even if they weren't good they still could've had a lot of fun.
"Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences."I do agree with this because parents have already gone through life and have already experienced things their kids are going to experience so parents usually know best, however it is important to let your kids learn.
Jennica
DeleteI agree with your second point because parents have already gone through this point in life and usually know what to tell you and how to help. I always ask my mom for advice and feel like she always knows exactly what to say.
Jennica Bakken
ReplyDelete1. I always wondered why Chinese are so smart and succeed in almost everything they do. I really never linked it to how they were raised, I genuinely liked reading this article because it showed how different people can be raised and the outcomes of the parenting. I thought it was interesting when she was talking about how her Western friends considered themselves strict after making their kids practice for 30 minutes a day. She said, "For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the
easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough." I think this is really what separates American kids from Chinese kids. The fact that after the American kids are done with their 30 minutes of work they know they don't have to do anymore until maybe the next day. For Amy's kids, they get past the first hour and realize they have to do it all again for another hour or two, making them better.
2. The one thing that really stood out to me in the article is when she was talking about how her father would call her "garbage" if she did something wrong or not up to expectations. She didn't realize how damaging it is to say until she called her daughter that in front of her Western friends, "One guest
named Marcy got so upset she broke down in
tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan,
the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the
remaining guests." She had to rethink what she said because it's just not normal to talk to your kids that way, even though that was how she was raised and treated growing up.
Tayli Brekkestran
DeleteI also never considered that the way Chinese are raised is why they're so successful. It's odd to think that the way they're raised is considered the normal to them, but to us it seems strange and harsh.
Kenzie Sorter
DeleteI very much agree with your second comment. That part of the article stuck out a lot to me too. But what I didn't understand is that if she didn't like being called garbage why did she do the same thing to her own kids?
I agree with your second comment as well. You can see and understand the mentality behind that idea, that calling your children garbage will make it hurt less when other people do it to them, but I strongly believe that it is not the role of the parent to drain their emotions from a young age like that. There's just no way for it to seem ethical to us.
Delete~ Ben
Dominica Bernstein
ReplyDelete1) "Nothing is fun until you're good at it." This quote by. Amy Chua really stuck with me because I think it kind of goes. hand in hand with what we've. read so far in "The outliers", in comparison with this article, Goodwell writes about how without a passion and love for what you do, there will be no perseverance through the countless hour spent studying or practicing an instrument and in a way this idea relates to what the Chinese culture teaches; instead of having a passion for the value of education, it is taught from a very young age that learning is fun and enjoyable and I think in a way both authors' cultures really shine through in their writings.
2) Another thing that stood out to me was how Chua explained the aspect of self esteem. She used the example of her daughter Sophia, when she told the ladies at dinner. that she had. called. her daughter "garbage", they were in utter shock and were upset. Chua was confused as to why they would think this was such a horrible thing, she had grown up being judged by her parents all her life so this was no different. What we can take away from this is the value of self esteem between the two cultures. I think Western parents try to protect their childrens. feelings as much as they can. whereas, chinese parents will do whatever it takes to keep their child on top, even if it means ostrasizing them.
I agree with your second topic and how the only reason Chua says things like that to her children is because it is a different type of lifestyle then the Western parents and her children understand why she says it to them.
DeleteChloe
DeleteI like how you connected outliers and the article I do think they correlate well by connecting success and hard work.
Brooklyn Brouse
ReplyDelete1- I thought it was interesting when we talked about putting praise after hard work and how Amy didn't just let her kids quit if they weren't good at something right away. She said "tenacious practice, practice, practice is
crucial for excellence," after her kids practiced and put all that work in was when they finally got to feel the admiration for their skills. Things may not seem super easy at the start but after being pushed to work at it every single day her daughters were very successful.
2- I think it might have been hard for some of us to totally grasp the whole idea of the "Chinese Mother" parenting style because it was so strict and harsh compared to the ways most of us were raised. In the article it said "I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, and my father angrily called me garbage.” If my parents said that to me I would be shocked because they never call me names or anything that could be portrayed as degrading. Although these kids don't take it in that harsh of a way, of course it didn't make the girl feel good but she did understand why they said it, just like we understand when our parents would punish us however they do so.
The part where her dad called her garbage jumped out at me too, because it's sad that she even had to 'understand' why her dad called her that. I don't think parents should call their kids names because it causes a lot of self esteem issues, like we can say those things to ourselves but when it comes from your parents then it feels true.
DeleteJonah Kalsnes
DeleteI agree that putting in effort is integral when it comes to getting better. Hopefully, the children are learning how to develop a work ethic that is theirs, and not just the product of their mother forcing them to practice. Ultimately, they should be encouraged to put time in, not forced.
Yes, I agree with your first point that there definitely are benefits to having a tempered and strong-willed personality. I would also add that you shouldn't need to have to shove math, science, and english down their throats in order to do that though. Like Froiland says, "there's got to be a better way."
Delete~Ben
Camden
DeleteI agree with your second point when you say that we would react differently if our parents said these kinds of things to us. It makes us wonder how we would go about these things if they happened to us!
"First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem."
ReplyDeleteUnlike my first response, I agree somewhat with Chua here. While I do think it is essential for parents to care about their children's emotional well-being, they should not be completely invested in it. Children need to grow up learning how to take care of their self-esteem because when they are adults, they will not always have the emotional support from their parents. Instead of parents intervening in a child's life to fix a problem, they should just talk to the child and encourage them to go about life without being defined by what other people think of them.
Max Forst
DeleteI agree with how you said instead of parents intervening in their child's life, they should encourage their children to do it themselves. What Chua is doing is raising her daughters' self esteem, so that in the future they can better handle themselves.
The initial comment was by Jonah Kalsnes
DeleteI agree with Jonah's point on how parents can lead you down the right path, but shouldn't choose your path. It is the child's responsibility to mature and grow as an individual and they should be able to do that without the constant pressure of a parent telling them how to do things.
DeleteMax Forst
ReplyDeleteChua says that "Chinese parents believe that their kids
owe them everything." However, I think this is a little harsh. After all, just like Chua's husband said, the children don't choose to be born or pick who their parents are going to be. In my opinion, looking at your children this way is almost like looking at them like slaves. Of coarse it is not actually that extreme, but it does seem kind of unfair to the child. I agree with Chua's husband more because parents chose to have kids, and one day those kids will have the choice to have kids. Children shouldn't owe their parents that much, even though doing things for your parents here and there is the right thing to do.
Chua also explains how she will not allow her daughters to give up, and she will even go as far as insulting her daughters to "motivate" them. While I don't agree with how she insults her daughters, I do agree that it is important to not allow your children to give up. After all, "there's
nothing better for building confidence than
learning you can do something you thought you
couldn't." If you give up, you will know that you can't do it, which doesn't boost self esteem. However, if you practice enough and succeed, then your self esteem will go up.
Tayli Brekkestran
DeleteI agree with you that the way Chinese parents believe their kids owe them everything is very harsh. It's the parents job to raise their children, not treat them like slaves as you said.
Anna Knott
DeleteI agree with Max's first point because it does state in the article that they believe it is only fair that the child owes everything to their parents. When we look at this it is crazy but it is their culture.
Ashleigh Kruse
ReplyDelete1) When reading this article I was shocked at Chua's parenting style. As I kept reading though I did start understanding why she would do it this way. I think Chua was just looking out for her kids future. In the process of this they became disciplined and hard working which set them up for bright futures in my opinion. Now Western parents might disagree with her parenting because of how she would handle things. like when she as a child said "I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, and my father angrily called me garbage." Most western parents would never do that because they would think that it would hurt their childs self esteem. When this was said to her as a child it didn't hurt her at all because she knew her parents didn't mean it but it did make her think about what she had done and she would grow to be ashamed of herself.
2) Another thing that caught my attention was definitely when she made her seven year old LuLu sit at the piano for hours because she couldn't get this song. Chua even went to the extent of "I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years." She also threatened to donate Lulu's dollhouse to the salvation army if she wasn't able to play the little white donkey. I understand why she did that but in view of Western parents it would be considered abuse or at the least damaging to their kids. Chua didn't damage Lulu she just gave her motivation to play this song correctly. Eventually she did succeed and Lulu even enjoyed playing it.
Tayli Brekkestran
ReplyDelete1. Chua explains in her article how she will not allow her daughters to give up on anything. This may be a good mindset to have for your kids, but the way Chua goes about it is kind of concerning for Westerners. She insults her children, because she sees it as motivation. Chua told story about how she wouldn't let her daughter stop playing the piano until she got it right. After awhile when her daughter did, Chua stated "Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worse things you could do for your child's self-esteem is let them give up."
2. The quote "nothing is fun until you're good at it" stood out to me. Like what we've read in Outliers, practice makes perfect. Chua makes her kids work hard until they've mastered whatever it is that they're working on. Gladwell says in his book that no one can be considered success until they've put in 10,000 hours, and I think this is the same mindset that Chua has.
Baylie Johnson
DeleteI agree with you when you talk about practicing and working hard to master something. I like how you tie the article in with Outliers because it shows that Chua really is trying to make her children succeed. You have to practice in order to be good at anything and practice isn't always fun but once you start mastering your skills it becomes fun. The way Chua pushes her children to work hard may seem insulting and harsh to us but that's way she was taught and this is the way that worked for her when she was growing up.
Baylie Johnson
ReplyDelete1. What stuck with me about the article is the fact that Chinese parents will sit and help their children practice their instruments, math, etc because they want their children to succeed and they will not accept failure. Chua says, "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences." She may push her children a little too far, but she is there every step of the way and in the end children are happy when they succeed at something. Her children felt confident after they played a difficult song correctly on the piano even if that meant sitting at the piano for hours or being insulted (motivated) to get it right. This may seem harsh to Westerners but it makes sense to push your child even when they don't want to do something because they have to work at anything to become better.
2. Another aspect that I thought was interesting is that Chinese parents believe that their children owe them everything. Maybe "everything" is a little much but children should respect and obey their parents because they sacrifice everything for them. Chua spends hours trying to make her kids successful because that's how she was raised. She may be a little blunt and insulting, but she does it because she loves her kids and wants them to be the best that they can be. Children should be appreciative of their parents because they do so much for us and are there through the good times and the bad.
I really liked when you said, "She may be a little blunt and insulting, but she does it because she loves her kids and wants them to be the best that they can be." I feel that this is completely true. She ins't saying those negative things to damage her child's ego. Quite the opposite. That is the only way she knows how to motivate them to push themselves to succeed.
DeleteKenzie Sorter
ReplyDelete1. One thing I found interesting was all the rules that Amy Chua had for her daughters. These rules limited her daughters to any kind of freedom and enforced a lot of structure to their lives. Some examples of things, “they were never allowed to do: Attend a sleepover, watch TV or play computer games, get any grade less than an A, and not play the piano or violin.” She believed this way of parenting was going to be the most successful for her kids, and that’s why she enforced them. I know this way of parenting is how she may have grown up with and is used to, but the way of parenting nowadays is so much different than it was back then. And I strongly disagree with the “encouraging” words she decides to use with her kids.
2. Another thing I found interesting is “What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it.” I think they aren’t the only parents to believe that to get good at something you have to work hard at it. this is a great piece of advice, especially for young kids. In the article, she shares a story about her daughter struggling with a song on the piano and she worked hard at it and just seemed to not get it and decided to give up. Chua wouldn’t let at more point even told her own daughter to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent, and pathetic. She threatened her with Lulu’s things by saying she was going to donate them. Once she set down she didn't leave that spot until she got the music down. It's a very strange way of trying to get your kid to believe in themselves and I didn’t think she needed to be that harsh but in the end, Lulu got it. And once she got it she couldn’t stop playing it and thought it was so much fun to play.
Anna Knott
ReplyDelete1. I think that Amy has very high standards for her children, however I think that she just wants what is best for her children. She wants them to have the choice of getting into one of the best colleges or have a big important job. I don’t think she is trying to make their lives not fun. She is just letting them know what they need to do to raise their chances of becoming their best selves. For example in the article is states “ The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.” this shows that the mothers put lot of time into making sure that their child can have a chance of succeeding.
2. I think that Amy is a very supportive parent. She is worried about how well her children will do because in the end it reflects back on her being the mother. She wants the girls to live up to the standards and this is why she is willing to hold them accountable and see that they practice to get things perfect.
I agree that Amy wants the best for her children. She wants them to have the best oppertunities. She's doing it all out of love.
Delete^^^Chloe Lundeen
DeleteAnna, I completely agree with your first point. I think she cares so much for her daughters futures, that she was constantly forcing them to study and practice.
Delete1. I do believe chinese mothers raise there children with love. It may seem they are hard on them, but it purely for their future so they are successful. They are hard on them because they care so much. "Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being chinese mothers." I think my mom is strict, but I can't imagine their mothers rules.
ReplyDelete2. "What chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun unless your good at it." I agree with this in a way. It's no doubt that being in a sport or activity and your bad at it you probably won't continue because where is the fun in that? But if you're really good you're going to want to keep working at it.
^^^Chloe Lundeen
DeleteSamuel Zaviska
DeleteI agree that Chinese mothers raise their children with love. They are hard on them, but it's because they care about them and want the best for them.
Ivy Wiggs
DeleteI agree with this quote. Growing up kids try so many sports that they probably will stop playing later on and the reason why if because they don't like it or they're not good at it.
Jennifer Nehring
ReplyDelete1. Amy has very expectations of her daughters. She wouldn't let them do anything except the best. She said that, "Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough." It is this belief in her children that causes her to push them so hard.
2. Although I may not agree with the following actions, Amy was doing them because she felt that these were the best way to keep her daughters on the right path for success. Her daughters were never allowed to: "attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, and not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, or not play the piano or violin."
Instead, she would force them to perfect the skills in school that she felt would be the most valuable.
1. Chua believes that through hard work her kids can accomplish anything and can set themselves up for certain skills and attributes that will help them in their careers. From a certain point of view I would say that this is true; tempering your kids for the unforgiving stress of the real world is certainly a universal advantage that will help them in their careers. In this sense I believe that she is correct, that she should temper her children's personalities, but I don't necessarily agree with her academic viewpoint. As Chua puts it: "Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children...to get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences." This assumes that there is some sort of advantage to being a straight A student, which is not the basis of success; at least in my opinion, innovation and creativity fueled by passion, given the right opportunities, will lead to success. So, there is no reason to make her childrens' lives miserable by distilling them into academic superstars.
ReplyDelete2. This second point kind of plays off of the last point, but I don't believe the way that Chua "overrides" her childrens' desires is ethical. Sure, kids don't exactly make the wisest decisions, like perhaps wanting to eat the entire gallon of ice cream in one sitting, but they should still be encouraged to follow their hopes and dreams and not to exceed in some educational remnant of the industrial boom of the late 1800's.
~Ben
Ivy Wiggs
DeleteI agree being successful in life is not all based on your grades or how well you did in school. There are many other things that lead to success.
Samuel Zaviska
ReplyDelete1. Chua's style of parenting sounds so extreme at first. When her daughter was working on a piano piece and couldn't get a part Chua threatened taking away everything from her until she got it. When her daughter finally did get it, "she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano" (6). So at the end of it, her method worked and the daughter was happy.
2. It seems like Chua really cares about her children, as much or more than Western mothers. At first she seems just cruel, but, as she says, she does it because she wants the best for her children and knows they can achieve it. She pushes them to be the best they can be.
Chua states,"What chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you are good at it." this quote is so true, even now if I am bad at something i don't find it fun and I quit before I've even started because I just assume that I'm no good at it. So Chua makes her kids good at Piano or violin before they've come to enjoy it.
ReplyDelete"Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them." A lot of parents are grateful if their kid comes home with B or C but because chinese parents demand and expect their children to get As that's what their kids re going to get.
Ivy Wiggs
ReplyDeleteCamden Broadwell
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I found very interesting was how invested Chua was in making sure that her parenting style benefitted her kids the best that it could. She practically forced them to work until things were perfect, but in the end her kids were better for it. One specific example of this was when Lulu, Amy's daughter, was playing a tough piano piece. After long physical and emotional struggles, Lulu finally got it. Chua says, "Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together... just like that." This shows us that her belief in her child led to their success, and that believing in someone can go a long ways.
Another example written in the text was about how their kids were not allowed to spend time in certain activities. The way that they were raised was very different than the way I was raised and the way that I would want to raise my own kids. When I was young, I played in just about every sport imaginable, and I would want my kids to have those same opportunities. However, Chua would not allow her kids to play sports because it does not help them with their careers. Every benefit that playing a sport has can be replicated in the form of another activity that could better develop a child. Chua's different style of parenting is just that: different. Not better or worse, just different